God Saved the Queen

My friend Tracy emailed me this awesomeness.

I was going to put a caption under each photo,

(these write themselves, people)

but just letting you scroll down is much more effective.

Curious to know at which point you say, "OMG!"

Ok, can't resist a few notes.

One of her purses seems to have survived from the Nixon administration to the Clinton era...maybe she's not so different from us commoners after all.

Where's LBJ?, I asked. Google tells me they never met; why not is the subject of some boring conjecture.

Re the Reagan photo. Either Ronnie thought he was at a Dean Martin roast, or he just couldn't hide his true feelings about that dress.

Discuss.

Whenever Possible, Let E.B. White Say it For You

1952 E.B. White Christmas Greeting

(first published in the New Yorker)

From this high midtown hall, undecked with boughs, unfortified with mistletoe, we send forth our tinselled greetings as of old, to friends, to readers, to strangers of many conditions in many places. Merry Christmas to uncertified accountants, to tellers who have made a mistake in addition, to girls who have made a mistake in judgment, to grounded airline passengers, and to all those who can’t eat clams! We greet with particular warmth people who wake and smell smoke. To captains of river boats on snowy mornings we send an answering toot at this holiday time. Merry Christmas to intellectuals and other despised minorities! Merry Christmas to the musicians of Muzak and men whose shoes don’t fit! Greetings of the season to unemployed actors and the blacklisted everywhere who suffer for sins uncommitted; a holly thorn in the thumb of compilers of lists! Greetings to wives who can’t find their glasses and to poets who can’t find their rhymes! Merry Christmas to the unloved, the misunderstood, the overweight. Joy to the authors of books whose titles begin with the word “How” (as though they knew!). Greetings to people with a ringing in their ears; greetings to growers of gourds, to shearers of sheep, and to makers of change in the lonely underground booths! Merry Christmas to old men asleep in libraries! Merry Christmas to people who can’t stay in the same room with a cat! We greet, too, the boarders in boarding hoses on 25 December, the duennas in Central Park in fair weather and foul, and young lovers who got nothing in the mail. Merry Christmas to people who plant trees in city streets; merry Christmas to people who save prairie chickens from extinction! Greetings of a purely mechanical sort to machines that think–plus a sprig of artificial holly. Joyous Yule to Cadillac owners whose conduct is unworthy of their car! Merry Christmas to the defeated, the forgotten, the inept; joy to all dandiprats and bunglers! We send, most particularly and most hopefully, our greetings and our prayers to soldiers and guardsmen on land and sea and in the air–the young men doing the hardest things at the hardest time of life. To all such, Merry Christmas, blessings, and good luck! We greet the Secretaries-designate, the President-elect; Merry Christmas to our new leaders, peace on earth, good will, and good management! Merry Christmas to couples unhappy in doorways! Merry Christmas to all who think they are in love but aren’t sure! Greetings to people waiting for trains that will take them in the wrong direction, to people doing up a bundle and the string is too short, to children with sleds and no snow! We greet ministers who can’t think of a moral, gagmen who can’t think of a joke. Greetings, too, to the inhabitants of other planets; see you soon! And last, we greet all skaters on small natural ponds at the edge of woods toward the end of afternoon. Merry Christmas, skaters! Ring, steel! Grow red, sky! Die down, wind! Merry Christmas to all and to all a good morrow!

-E.B. White, 12/20/52

P.S. Indeed.

Nothing Says Christmas Like Sam's Club

Journey with me to the heart of Sam's club in Iowa, on the Saturday before Christmas.

I'm not sure how or why this happened. But it's now preserved for immortality.

With Roy, your tour guide.

Oranges before Nascar.

U...Vapid...W...

Nice little tune.

But don't forget the companion book for when you can't stand the sound of the electronic crap any longer.

Oprah even tells me what to do at Sam's club.

Honey, have you seen my glasses? Can't find em anywhere.

Sales of this book have begun to plummet, unfortunately.

You decide.

I thought these came in 3 packs.

Fantastic!

100% Genuine Chinese sheep.

How to win the hearts and minds of the 16 yr olds on your list.

Damn. I was going to buy this so I could look more like Sarah Palin.

Horse's asses.

Popular gift card for Iowans.

This one, not so much.

Having lost sight of husband, I located him harassing the cheesecake sampler.

BFFs.

Devil's handiwork.

Nothin but the best.

Named after my uncle.

Again with the luxury items.

One stop shopping. Takes care of the stockings and Santa.

Couldn't get any closer for this pic. Angry mob shooed me away for not actually buying.

Never buy a pie bigger than your head.

Memories of Mama.

Now THIS makes sense to buy in bulk.

Nothing good can come of this.

Not nearly enough for the season.

Ditto.

Which one of these is not like the others?

Bargain Tamiflu.

Out of the reach of those prying little hands!

So yeah, he's mine ladies, don't even think about it.

Paul Davis posters

One of my friends brought this poster back from NYC for me in 1977; a woman we knew was the stage manager for this show. For those of you keeping score at home, this was so long ago that someone named Meryl Streep was playing "a chambermaid" in this production.

I fell in love with this art, framed it, and have hung it in every place I've lived since then. It's hanging on the side of my fireplace now in fact.

It's the work of Paul Davis, a brilliant illustrator and graphic artist.

His influences are as varied as his gifts.

I love this image of the poster above as it looked in the subway:

For your viewing pleasure:

Here's an intriguing profile of Paul Davis, "Master of Change" by Steven Heller.